The color is coming back.

After Awaited in 2008, I felt like the blinds dropped, it got dark, and I could hear God no more.. I have harbored resentment which I still don't know that I've completely let go of - but I prayed with a friend some days back over facebook chat.

This whole year I felt alone.. completely alone, again. After we prayed, I felt like the blinds opened a little.. some color began to come back in, and I could begin to hear him.. again. I wondered if I ever would. I'm catching myself now.. and aware of Him now.. just a little bit, but a lot more than I have for awhile.. and it's coming again, without such an effort. This is good.

I once again realize I still have all kinds of things to work though, and realize there are things I'll fight against the rest of my life. I realize that there are things I'll have to forgive people for, the smae things, maybe every day.. I don't know how that'll work, but I guess each morning is new - but God is with me ready to carry those burdens if not with me, for me.

Things are looking up, and I'm once again, for the first time - in a long time - beginning to get excited.. not necessarily about the future, but about His Kingdom, and my place in it.

Peace.