So I've an interest. I won't put the l word before the word interest, as that would be inappropriate, I think.
Let's start by saying that I feel as if this woman is the best friend I have. I trust her completely.. and when I say completely, I do not mean that lightly.
I'll not go into much detail in this writing, but I what I will say is this..
What is so different this time... in this interest... this is what is different. It's not about me, it's about her. This is not her "time." And if I do truly care, then the best way I can love her in action is to be a friend.. there no matter what, and to not act on my any feelings I have above and beyond our friendship.
You see, in my mind - I automatically equate that to the possibility of a missed opportunity with her.. not that I am so full of myself to think she would want a relationship with me.. I do know that if she did, now is not the right time.. at least not the right time for more than a friendship.. so how long would I wait? A month? A year? How do I gauge that? I don't want to find that me caring for her means I ultimately lose her one day to someone else because I didn't pursue.. I guess if I really, really want to love her in action.. I just sit back, trust God, put my wants aside, and be exactly what she needs right now.. which is simply a friend.
It's not about me.. it's about her.. and what a change.. so odd, because I'm just not like that. Well, this time I am.
